I came across '21 Ways to Defuse Anger and Calm People Down' from a friend. Michael Staver explores the mindset & belief of Angry Person and the ways to deal constructively with such Angry people. His definition of Fear (Finding Evidence Against Reality) with an example of a brain adding head,nose,legs,eyes to a non-existant thing is excellent. He starts by conveying the losses due to anger such as Loss in Judgement, Inablity of self-control & Inability to Receive.
He correlates the stages of anger with the Bell Shape & conveys that it has its own characteristics just as the base(normal person), slope(gradually increasing anger - Escalation) , top(Peak of anger - Crisis) , slope(Decrease in anger after crisis - Resolution) and base(Back to normalcy). He conveys tricks to handle anger at every such stage so that the angry person reaches the falling-slope / base of bell without doing much damage.
He also busts many myths of anger like 'Verbal/Physical venting will have lasting calmning effects', 'Getting angry is the only way to get things done', 'It is only natural to respond that way - The excuse myth' , 'Strongly confronting an angry person will back them down' and many more.
The author conveys the need for listening, being quiet, empathy, venting, dis-engaging, warning-signs, timeout, apology, playing referee & many other interesting practical tricks that are very useful in office, dealerships, negotiations & relationships.
He also gives steps to deal with 'abusing anger' & for tackling 'dangerous threats'.
Certain instances are so True that prove Michael Staver's expertise in Anger. His ability to mix humour at certain scenarios while teaching the Anger Defusing tricks deserve credit.
The tricks & scenarios are very practical and is a Must Read for Everyone.
He correlates the stages of anger with the Bell Shape & conveys that it has its own characteristics just as the base(normal person), slope(gradually increasing anger - Escalation) , top(Peak of anger - Crisis) , slope(Decrease in anger after crisis - Resolution) and base(Back to normalcy). He conveys tricks to handle anger at every such stage so that the angry person reaches the falling-slope / base of bell without doing much damage.
He also busts many myths of anger like 'Verbal/Physical venting will have lasting calmning effects', 'Getting angry is the only way to get things done', 'It is only natural to respond that way - The excuse myth' , 'Strongly confronting an angry person will back them down' and many more.
The author conveys the need for listening, being quiet, empathy, venting, dis-engaging, warning-signs, timeout, apology, playing referee & many other interesting practical tricks that are very useful in office, dealerships, negotiations & relationships.
He also gives steps to deal with 'abusing anger' & for tackling 'dangerous threats'.
Certain instances are so True that prove Michael Staver's expertise in Anger. His ability to mix humour at certain scenarios while teaching the Anger Defusing tricks deserve credit.
The tricks & scenarios are very practical and is a Must Read for Everyone.
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